Grace
Lutheran Church
Queens Village, New York
Tel. (718)
465-1010, FAX (718) 465-9069
The celebration of Christian marriage is truly one of the great events of a lifetime. A wedding performed by the secular authority is recognized as a valid, Christian wedding. But it is commendable when a couple wants to commit themselves and their marriage to God with a Christian wedding service. God’s blessing is sought on their relationship together, not only for their wedding day, but as long as they live.
A Christian wedding service puts God at the center of the ceremony. When making plans for the ceremony, it is important to keep this in mind.
Since the couple is asking God to bless their marriage, it is understood that the couple will make every effort to worship regularly before and after their wedding. If a person is actively involved in a church, it is appropriate to get married in his or her own church. If a couple lives some distance from the church, the pastor will assist them in locating a church near their residence so that their worship life can continue.
It is important to make arrangements with the church 3-6 months prior to the intended date. The date is not fixed until it has been cleared with the church calendar and with the pastor, and a deposit of $100 has been given to the church.
Your marriage is more important than your wedding day, since it will last a lifetime. The couple should make plans to meet with the pastor well in advance of the wedding date. The pastor uses an inventory called Prepare/Enrich that will help the couple focus on marriage. The inventory will be taken at the first session, so a check for $30 made out to Life Innovations, Inc. is needed at the first session. The inventory will then assist the discussion in preparation for your life together.
Engaged Encounter is a weekend retreat to help a couple build their communication skills and discuss many topics. An Engaged Encounter weekend can be an alternative to counseling with the pastor. The pastor will help the couple arrange for a weekend if desired.
In most weddings, a rehearsal is desired. The rehearsal is set up at a time convenient to the pastor and the couple involved.
The rehearsal itself takes 30 to 45 minutes. Emphasize to those in the wedding party to get to the rehearsal on time. The days before a wedding are extremely busy for the couple being married. Waiting for people to show up can be very frustrating.
Since the wedding ceremony is done to the glory of God, music must be chosen which will be proper and in good taste for a Christian worship service. Romantic and popular music is more appropriate at the reception.
The church musician will meet with the couple and assist in the selection of music. Any music not known to the organist or the pastor must be submitted in advance for approval. All the words of the music must be submitted. This includes any music done by an outside soloist. The church provides a list of suggested music.
Couples are encouraged to have guests participate in the wedding ceremony. One way is by having everyone sing a Christian hymn. Another way is by having people read the lessons or having a Psalm read responsively.
Most wedding ceremonies last approximately 30 minutes. The service is shorter with small wedding parties and when there is little music, longer when there are a number of musical pieces.
As a courtesy to the guests and those involved in the wedding, it is strongly urged that the wedding begin on time. A deposit is required prior to the wedding to pay for the extra time of those serving when the service is significantly late. Plan the schedule for the day to make certain that the wedding party arrives at the church on time.
Following the wedding, plan for 30 minutes for the receiving line and additional time if photos are desired. This is important when making arrangements for the reception.
If flowers are to be delivered to the church, or if there are any special decorations, arrangements need to be made with the church to have the doors opened for those times. Please specify the time of delivery to the church. No tacks or glue are allowed on any of the furniture or walls.
Memories of a wedding are important to most couples. Photographs and/or videos have become common at weddings. However, it is also important that the taking of photos or videos does not detract from the worship service or from the people who are present for the ceremony. The church has set up certain policies for this. Please be sure that the photographers and guests are aware of this.
· No flash photography is allowed during the ceremony itself.
· After the procession, and before the recession, all photographers and camera people must remain in the side aisles. (Note: there are limited electrical outlets in the church.)
· The photographers may not be in the central aisle during the procession as that gets in the way of the wedding party and blocks the view of the guests.
· If special pictures are desired of the vows, a few pictures can be posed following the ceremony. Then the photographer may take pictures from any angle.
The Marriage License must be obtained from the town hall within 60 days of the wedding, but not less than 24 hours prior to the wedding. The Marriage License is the document that makes the marriage legal. It is to be given to the pastor at or before the rehearsal.
The Marriage License is signed by the parties concerned immediately following the wedding ceremony.
People come with various customs and preferences for weddings. These can be included in the worship service as long as they do not distract from the idea of worshipping God. Since people come from so many different cultures, many of the customs are an expression of the people joining together in marriage.
It is important that any special desires be discussed with the pastor during the first meeting. Anything not discussed with the pastor will not take place (the pastor is not a mind reader).
Attached are the fees for those who perform services for the wedding ceremony. The deposit will be returned if the wedding begins on time and if the church is left in good condition. The fees are to be given to the church office at least one week prior to the wedding ceremony. Only the pastor can make exceptions for special circumstances.